Home so soon!!

Time is flying! I'll be home in a little over a week! Honestly, it's quite surreal still. When should I start packing (knowing me, probably right now)? How am I going to see and do all of the things I still want to do? How am I going to clean out this room that has been my home for the past five months? What am I even going to do with all of the stuff? How am I going to say goodbye to the amazing friends and colleagues I have acquired? And for that matter, how am I going to leave this city, this country, that has stolen a piece of my heart?

Don't get me wrong, I am quite excited to go home, but I am really very reticent to leave, too. Through all of the ups & downs, this has been an incredible experience for me. I have learned so much about Prague, the Czech Republic, traveling, living alone, living in the city, about other cities around Europe, a bit about what I want for my future, and of course, about myself. I think that studying abroad is an experience everyone should have to help put their place in the world into perspective. One of the most amazing exercises for me is to think of myself, sitting in my flat, and to imagine all of the other people in other rooms in other flats on other floors in my building, all just kind of stacked up on top of each other, moving and living independently of the others. I know, it's weird, but my narcissistic self is always focused on me & my position in a room - only imagining myself in reference to my most intimate surroundings. For me, to think of all of the other people, just in this building - sleeping, washing dishes, working - as I sit and do and live, too, provides perspective and reminds me how much bigger even just this building is than I perceive it to be. The world is a hell of a lot bigger.

I find that exciting. I want to see and do and experience. There is just so much out there, quite literally a world of different experiences. I know I can't have them all, but I want them. Having just the limited (in a world perspective - I am extremely fortunate to have had all of the traveling experience that I have these past few months) experience that I have has sparked an intense hunger in my belly to really get out there & travel and to experience every little thing I can. I don't know how I will travel in the future, but I will. For now, I'll take each and every day as a new opportunity to learn, see, do, and experience this amazing life.

Aaaaaand, see you soon 'Merica!!

Bonjour! Ciao! FRIENDS!

Oh my goodness! It's the eve of my big trip!

It's surreal that it's already time! I remember planning this part of my adventure (what, 5 months ago?) and knowing that I would be ready for a break at this point in my time abroad, particularly one that involves meeting up with two of my best friends in Paris and traveling through France and Italy with them for 16 days!!

Boy oh boy! Cay & Alex are on their flight to Paris by now, which is crazy to think about, as my flight isn't even until tomorrow night. Time changes will mess you up, no?

So, on the eve of this fantastic and much anticipated rendezvous avec mes chéris (it's funny how little yet how much high school French will stick in your brain), I can be found languidly packing for weather ranging from rainy to sunny and 50° to 80°. Fun, fun, fun! My sissy gave me some good advice: "Who cares if you wear the same thing the whole time?! Just throw some shit in a bag!" Shocking, if you know my sister, who rarely cusses. Someone's cutting loose, eh?

You can also find me frantically trying to prepare all perishable foods I have around the flat, including: 2 eggs, sauteed peppers & onions, half a kelbasa, some grapes, a bag of sugar snap peas, some ancient beets that are starting to grow hairs, a few sweet potatoes, and a 1 kilo bag of carrots. Needless to say I've been eating some strange meals for the past few days. After work today I made roasted beets & curried sweet potatoes and decided a little brown rice would bring the meal together.

It didn't.

Looks yummy, no? The sad thing is that I was actually paying attention to this. I had just put some extra water in the pot, and not 10 minutes later start smelling smoke through my (open) bedroom door. Panic ensued. Luckily we have a huge window in the kitchen that opens up into an empty courtyard, and whenever I burn something, I simply stick the offending pot out on the ledge to cool off. I was strongly considering simply leaving the pot out there - forever - but I decided to not be a total jerk and clean it (5 hours later). Unfortunately, my hands now smell disgusting and I can't get the stench out of my nose. Yay. In my defense, I have never in my life burned rice before - scout's honor!

Truthfully, just the other day I was thinking about how awesome I am at making rice in a pot, because normally the pot ends up like this:

 Perfection!

Needless to say I am looking forward to the next 16 days of relatively little cooking, and there definitely will not be rice on the menu. I'm thinking wine. A lot of wine.

So, where will we three peas be for the next 16 days? Ah, put your sasspants on because you will be jealous, my friends! We'll begin our little expedition in the classical city of Paris, of course. Then we will move to the region of Tuscany in Italy to visit Pisa, Florence, and La Spezia & Cinque Terre. Next comes a night in Genoa, rounding out our Italian adventures before we move on to Nice for a few days, then one last night in Paris before the girls head back across the Big Blue and I return home to Prague (yes, home). While I don't expect to do much blogging during these travels, I'll try to post some pictures and a few updates on all of the fun we're having (and food we're eating, wine we're drinking, clubs we're hopping, and beaches we're lounging on).

For now, enjoy yet another inspirational video I've found below, and if you didn't catch the link in my last post to "Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech," you should check his story out, too (I accidentally hid him beneath Imagine Dragons' "Radioactive."

Au revoir mes petit choux! Ciao! I look forward to blogging to you again!

Na shledenou? Ne! Ne!

Almost anyone you talk to who has taken the opportunity to study abroad will tell you it was the most amazing experience of their life. Cliche? Yes. True? Also yes.

With about six and a half weeks left before I fly back to the stars and stripes, I'm realizing that I don't really want to leave. Although I've stumbled throughout my entire stay in Prague, it's been the most rewarding and exciting time of my life. I am going to miss the independence of living on my own and the ease of living in a city. I'll miss being able to walk to work or the grocery store or just through the narrow cobblestone streets, staring up at the wedding cake that is Prague architecture. I'll definitely miss the never-ending list of things to do at anytime of the day or night, and I'll miss the adventure of meeting new people and making new friends every single day.

Now don't get me wrong, I am so excited to see my family and friends again, to experience some of the things I've been missing from home (Plaza, Qdoba, not outrageously overpriced clothes shopping), to return for my last year of undergrad and competitive volleyball, but I have a feeling that I will be longing to return to Prague after only a few steps on US soil.

My poor little mind is going to be so confused: where is home? Can home be more than one place? I suppose. Can it be more than one country, though? I don't know if I would (could) ever feel that Prague or the Czech Republic is my home the way a native might, but now I feel like I'm halfway there, and I'm leaving the party early by heading home. There's that word again; home. 

Prague really does feel like home for me now. Maybe not "home home," back in Maryland or even at school in Virginia, but every time I return from a trip, I walk up the metro steps, take a deep breath, and smile. I'm back. Home. I feel certain I could call Prague "home home," given time. I can certainly see myself living here - maybe not forever, but definitely again. Prague deserves more attention than I've given it. I have, after all, already visited eight other countries over the past three months (not including Czech), will definitely be adding two more to that list, and possibly others. So really, I feel like I'm still just starting to get to know the Czech Republic, and I long to keep uncovering the secrets of its capital city of Prague.

Every time I explore a little further or take one more step out of the box I've put myself in, I am amazed at the complexity of this city. Just 15 minutes from the center you'll find rolling hills completely covered in tangles of the greenest shrubbery, spotted with homes overlooking the Vltava, or a huge park with never-ending lanes cocooned in an ongoing ceiling of giant trees. It's heartbreaking to know that most tourists won't experience the city past Old Town, and even worse, that I've really just begun to explore outside the city center myself.

As I have to start saying na shledanou to this city that has become my home, I find myself growing more and more resistant to say that goodbye. Maybe I can settle on a "goodbye for now," but not until  after I peel back a few more layers and fall further in love with Prague.

Interesting things:

• This song makes me want to put the volume on maximum and just move. I love it.

• Zach Sobiech's outlook on life. If you have time, watch his video: My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech.. Truly amazing. 

Whimsical Barcelona

It's been a month and a half since I traveled to Barcelona, Spain! Not only does it seem like just last week, but I am afraid that my memories of that trip have already started to fade - truly unfortunate, because I remember feeling like everything in the world was absolutely perfect when I was in that city. Although I can't make myself truly experience those pure and absolute feelings again (except maybe with another trip - I wouldn't complain!), I can reflect on them and hope to rediscover some of the infatuating affection I felt for the city of Barcelona.

Barcelona was one of those cities where I step off the plane and immediately smile. It's just that kind of place - I couldn't help but be happy when I was there. Just from my walk down Las Ramblas to my hostel in Plaça Reial, I knew Barcelona would be my kind of city. The shops, the people, just the airs of excitement and happiness - it was all infectious. The city is full of enthralling Spanish architecture - colorful buildings, balconies, shutters - fountains, palm trees, plants, and sculptures. My only complaint? Tourists. Barcelona is chock full of 'em. Yep, I know that I am one. Wouldn't it just be dandy to explore the world as it exists without other tourists?

 

Besides the crowds, I don't think I could possibly have any other complaints about this city. From the amazing Mercat de Sant Josep de la Boqueria marketplace where every morning I ate a walking breakfast of delicious, vibrant fruits and amazing, authentic empanadas, to the astoundingly, intricately beautiful and truly overwhelming Sagrada Familia, to the sublimely charming and expansive grounds of Parque Güell, to the calming and relaxing Parc de la Ciutadella, to the sapphire (and surprisingly warm) waters of the Mediterranean, I have simply fallen in love. Yup, writing about Barcelona has definitely awoken the city's spirit in me once again. My entire being is now twitching with longing to just go back. What is this pull?!

 

I think I've also fallen in love with Antoni Gaudí. The fact that I would never have recognized his name or works before visiting Barcelona is simply astounding. Gaudí's impact on the city is beyond obvious, from the previously mentioned Sagrada Familia and Parque Güell, to the lamp posts in Plaça Reial, Palacio Güell (directly across the street from my hostel), and Casas Batlló and Milà (La Pedrera). In my mind, "Gaudí" is simply synonymous with "Barcelona," and of course, "Catalan architecture." The character, wonderment of Barcelona? For me, it's Gaudí.

Not only does this city boast the whimsically delightful works of Antoni Gaudí, but also the lion's share of Pablo Picasso's rearing into the progressive artist he became. It's almost possible to imagine Picasso experiencing Gaudí's work and drawing inspiration, isn't it? At least in my mind, the two artists, although preferring different mediums and styles, share a certain expression - one that I am invariably attracted to and infatuated with. The pair of Spaniards are quickly developing into two of my favorite artists.

So what's next? Good question. Between the attraction I feel towards bustling Barcelona and the contentment I felt while visiting Madrid, I truly think some time spent throughout Spain in my future is necessary. Add it to the list, right? Sometimes, though, it seems like it would be just plain old ignorant to ignore your own feelings, especially when they're so strong. I guess we'll just have to wait and see where this life takes me!

Time flies, and so do I!

Umm...I'm wondering how it became the middle of May already and I haven't really noticed. Anyone know? I guess when you travel for 15 of the past 18 days, time flies!

You want to know what else happens when you travel that much?

This.
(click to enlarge)

Uhh, yeah. That was fun to fold this morning. The good news is that from traveling I have become a lot less attached to my material belongings, and I've already started a list in my mind of the items I'll be giving away before I head back home. I think the airline baggage guys (and my wallet) will appreciate that!

Another benefit of all of this recent traveling - Ireland, Scotland, the Netherlands, London, & Madrid - is that I really am feeling much more myself! Keeping busy is the key, I suppose. I read somewhere that humans tend to be happier when kept busy, but are lazy by nature. Whether scientific fact or just one person's theory, I have to agree! My favorite way to stay busy just happens to be hopping around Europe. We've all got our faults.

So anywho, have I mentioned that I am going to learn Spanish? No? I guess I haven't mentioned that I'm moving to Spain either, then. Okay, not really, but a girl can dream. I just love Spain!

Honestly, I love everywhere.

A recent conversation with Cay:
Cay: You're in Madrid?
Me: Yup!
Cay: Sweet! How is it?
Me: Beautiful!! The weather is perfect today and Spain might be my favorite country. I love it!!
Cay: every country is your favorite haha
Me: Okay, true. Spain is my favorite for fashion and men. And food.
Me: Germany is second on fashion and men.
Me: Ireland is favorite for landscape.
Me: Czech is my favorite beer.
Cay: and Berlin?
Me: Berlin is in Germany, you nut!

Besides working on our geography, my conversation with Cay made me realize that I really have adored every country I've been lucky enough to visit. I've also always said to myself, "I can't wait to come back here" for every single city I've visited. But in Madrid I finally allowed myself to admit the truth: I might not ever get to see these places again. As heartbreaking as that realization is, it's true. Of course I've made plans in my head to return not only to Europe in general, but to all of the amazing places I've been, in addition to all of the places I want to go, but we all know that plans are useless (although planning is essential) (thank you for that wisdom, Mr. Eisenhower).

I also know that as much as I plan and try to map my life out, God has his own plans for me, and all of the ideas I have about where I want my life to head, only He really gets to decide (and let me know about those plans on His own time). So, I can wish and dream and hope (and throw tantrums when none of that works) that someday I'll get to have another experience like this, and I really pray that I do, but I have to realize that I might not. What better inspiration could there be to enjoy every second?

Last thought: flying over the Alps was one of the most breathtaking experiences of this adventure. I only wish the pictures could do the views justice!

If you were wondering, there are just 9 short days standing between me and the 16-day French/Italian adventure I have planned with Cay & Alex that includes the destinations: Paris, Pisa, Florence, Cinque Terre/La Spezia, Genoa, and Nice! To say that I am excited is an understatement!!

My Pictures page has been updated with pictures from all of my travels! Enjoy!

Check back in soon!

Getting back on the horse. Dead horse?

Aye aye aye. What a busy little bee I have been! Between not submitting assignments for school (sorry Dr. Bob!), creating presentations that can't be opened, working on projects for my internship, battling the Czech Ministry to try to get a visa, and taking some pretty incredible trips - not to mention a bit of wallowing here and there - I have actually been quite enjoying myself & my time abroad. Really! I know that I complain sometimes (a lot), and that's a pretty bratty thing to do, but I really am having the best time of my life!

My most recent trips that I have not yet written about are: Barcelona, where I went almost a month ago (I can't believe it's been that long!), and Dublin & Edinburgh from which I just got back last night! I am heading out to the Netherlands this weekend - leaving today - to visit Rotterdam, Amsterdam, and the Tulpenfestival with my Dutch friend Robin, who I met one of my first weeks here in Prague!

So, although I don't have much time right now, I am going to try to do a quick update! I have tons & tons of beautiful pictures to share (although this girl somehow didn't charge her camera before going to Barcelona & most of the pictures are crappy quality phone pics - silly!), so check out my Pictures page, where you can scroll through the updated albums from my different destinations!


I have been a bit of a Debbie Downer lately, I know. But, recently I've been back on the horse...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d3/Prague_-_David_%C4%8Cern%C3%BD.jpg

Err...well I hope not David Černý's dead horse, but, uh, you know...
This statue is actually in Lucerna Pasaz, just a quick walk from my flat, and yes, I have indeed seen it in person, although this is not my picture.

My return to normalcy started with an awesome party at Palackeho on the riverbanks of the Vltava. I accidentally ran through the party when I went for an afternoon jog through my neighborhood and then the two blocks down to the river - have I mentioned the location of my flat is amazing?! Later, my friend Colin asked if I wanted to join him and some of his friends from his studio, and although I was initially a little reluctant (irrationally), I decided to go. I am so glad I did! Not only did I get to meet some awesome people - mostly Czechs - but I really had a great, carefree night hanging out in good company on a beautiful evening.

Sometimes, a little company is all you need!

More posts to come soon! For more info on the amazing Czech artist, David Černý, check out The Guardian's 'A David Černý sculpture walk in Prague.'

Tough (Self) Love

Well hello there!

It's been a while since I've posted, and for that I am sorry. Sometimes life gets in the way, and sometimes it's plain old laziness. This time, I've been feeling sad and lonely, so I've been spending my days ignoring the things I should be doing (work & homework) and the things I want to be doing but just can't seem to get myself to do (hanging out with friends, exploring the city, & working out), and feeling sorry for myself instead. Pathetic? Yes. My reality? Yup, I let it happen.

How I've been feeling lately.

I woke up this morning feeling like I've spent the last month in a haze, completely wasting 1/5 of my time abroad. I know what I want to be doing, I just can't seem to actually get myself to do those things. Crazy? Maybe a bit.

Anyway, one of the items on my long to-do list for the day was to write an article for my college's Honors and Scholars newsletter about study abroad. I hadn't been feeling particularly inspired lately, so I kept putting the task off. I'm jetting off to Ireland and Scotland this weekend (YAY!!!), and I figured this item was one I could probably knock out in less than an hour. I soon found that once I started writing, the feelings just flowed out. The article basically turned into both a letter to future study abroaders, but also to myself. It seems I have found a little tough love to serve up to myself, and I am hoping theses feelings stick around and help me dig myself out of the little (big?) slump I am in right now.

Although I am probably not in any way supposed to post this until it's been published in the newsletter, I'm going to anyway. I feel that if I make this public, maybe I'll remember that I have so many important friends and family members back home rooting for me to be having the best time of my life. Maybe it'll help me get out of my own way, and start enjoying this time abroad again with the enthusiasm that I had my first two months here. Five is an odd number, so maybe we can make it even and pretend this third and middle month never really happened.

I put up an "inspiration wall" of meaningful (to me) quotes next to my bed. It's original purpose was to get me out of bed at 6:15 everyday to get my workouts done, but I find many of its quotes applicable to my life in general. Lately I have been focused on the words of Laird Hamilton, who advises, "Make sure your worst enemy doesn't live between your own two ears." This quote is one that I truly need to take to heart (or head) and try to live by every day. Now, that's my goal.

My article

You move abroad. Maybe it’s for a whole year, maybe just a semester. Maybe you’re looking for an adventure, or you’re bored with the monotony of everyday living. Maybe you’re a little lost and looking to find yourself, or maybe you are just ready to move on to the next chapter of your life, and your circumstances are holding you back right now. Maybe you are ready to take life head on, yearning to be challenged every day. Maybe you’re running away – from problems, too many burnt bridges, a broken heart – or maybe you’re just feeling particularly restless. Whatever the reason you decide to move away from the life you know, the people, the country – your home – you do it. You’ve been thinking about it for months, maybe even years, and finally the decision is made. It’s done.

So, now you’re abroad. You’re in a new country with new people, new customs, new systems, and maybe a new language. You are so excited and you take everything in with the appreciation that only a traveler can have – the incredible architecture that locals walk by every day without a second glance, the beautiful sky that stretches out above this amazing new place (is that really the same sky you see at home?), the convenience and sensibility of public transportation, how different something as simple as a street sign can be, or how differently people are dressed from what you normally see at home. Everything is new, it’s so appealing, and you cannot wait to be part of this alternate universe just an eight hour flight from home.

But, through all of this excitement, this stimulation that has you dreaming about all of the new people you will meet, the foods you’ll try, the places you’ll see and the things you’ll do, you’re a little scared. Sure, there’s a girl living in the city who you knew in high school, but you weren’t exactly friends. You have your “program buddy,” but let’s be honest, she’s getting paid to be nice to you. There are probably thousands of other study abroad students, but you’re not taking classes, so how could you possibly meet them? What are you going to do all alone? How are you going to communicate with anyone here? English is your only language, and sure, it’s pretty widespread, but the country you chose, the place you’re in for the next five months, it was under Communist rule just twenty years ago. Can you realistically expect to get by with just English? And you’re still so excited, so happy to be here, but the fear has crept in around the edges, and you have to consciously keep your mind from touching it every single day.

After living in Prague for almost three months, that fear, that panic that I am alone in a city of one and a quarter million people, away from everything I have lived with and known for the past twenty years, it’s still around. Sure it’s mostly subsided, but every once in a while it comes back and takes over, and I’m forced to face the reality that I’m still a little scared, that I still get nervous when I go somewhere new, that sometimes I get lonely and long for my friends and family back home, or just the simple act of being able to communicate with the lady at the grocery store checkout, that I’m never really comfortable eating at a restaurant by myself and that I’d rather go to a museum or exhibit with a friend than alone. Sometimes I just want to stay in my room all day watching American TV shows (and sometimes I do), but everyday I’m faced with a choice: I can either let the fear take over, give up and waste another day not exploring the city, not meeting new people and making friends, not seeing the incredible things this city and country have to offer, feeling sorry for myself, lonely, and just wishing I could be back at home, in my comfortable apartment, hanging out with my friends, and reveling in the routine of the life of a typical college student, or I could get over the fear and push back.

Study abroad is a challenge every single day. It’s a rollercoaster, and while the hills are high and the views from up there are incredible, the lows run deep and sometimes you wonder why you ever put yourself in this position in the first place. The key lies in not only recognition, because that’s the easy part, but action. It is so easy to blame your inaction on the fact that you’re scared and to realize that if you simply pull yourself up out of bed and do something, anything, you’ll be okay and start making your way back out of that low, but to actually do it, to get up when all you want to do is feel sorry for yourself, longing for home, that’s the challenge. 

Maybe you moved abroad to try something new, to discover another part of the world, or to discover yourself, but maybe you’re running away. Maybe it’s both, and although it’s hard, and although every single day is exciting yet filled with challenges, you know without a single ounce of doubt that you don’t want to do what you’ve always done, that you don’t want to let the fear creep in and paralyze you, that you don’t want to waste one more second feeling sad or lonely or scared, and that in two months when you head home, you don’t want to feel like you’re running away again. So don’t. Don’t let the comfort of routine dictate how much you get out of this experience or how much you enjoy it. Revel in your differences from the locals, appreciate the fact that you will do something wrong nine out of ten times, but that eventually you’ll get it right, absorb the differences, and enjoy the realization that all of those new things you are seeing and experiencing are changing you down to your tiniest little fiber, and be thankful that you get to have your eyes pulled open and realize that just because it’s not familiar, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Everyone will tell you what an incredible, life-changing experience studying abroad is, but they’ll rarely tell you about the shadows. But what makes light shine brighter than the presence of darkness?