Aaaand Boom Goes the Dynamite.

HO-LY CRAP. What a couple of weeks it has been: hellos, goodbyes, smiles, tears, hugs, kisses, forgiveness, airplanes, strange beds, food food food, the doctors office, and lots and lots of family. And I haven't even left the country yet.

Unfortunately, there has been minimal preparation for Prague these past two weeks. Oh well, I still have a week to get everything together, and let's be honest, I am a college student, and we excel under pressure and looming deadlines...err, well, we're used to them. I did get a chance to start Prague in Black and Gold! Unfortunately, I am still on the first chapter, and this was just one of many of the books I meant to read before I left...ooops. Maybe it will be more fulfilling to read the books in Prague and visit the locations as I read! Maybe I will actually have time to do that! Did I mention that these past couple of weeks have left me delusional, too? No?

Anyways, I am tired. My grandma, my father's mother, Dede, passed away the morning of last Wednesday, January 16. I hadn't seen Dede in a very long time, and am sad to say that I do not have too many memories of her, and did not know her nearly as well as I should have. I am 20 years old, and should have known better - that I am an adult (mostly) and can (should) be responsible for my own trips to see family, that life isn't eternal, that other people's issues are not my own, that family is everything. I cried for the missing memories, the missed opportunities, the woman who left me her legacy, who I should have known better and with whom I should have spent more time, for those for which the loss cuts deeper, for guilt, for love. I am sorry, Dede, that I did not know you better, but I will honor you through cultivating my relationships with the rest of my family. Thank you for what you have passed down to me, and thank you for my family.

Even though the past couple of weeks have been difficult and emotionally draining, they have also been incredibly fulfilling. Dede may be gone, but she left me a whole lot of amazing family members to help me get to know her better, and with to build relationships. It is unfortunate that Dede's death is what brought this side of my family back together, but, the way I look at it, that was just one more gift from my grandmother. Maybe it is a little morbid to consider it this way, as the reason for this trip was based around loss and heartache, but I am really glad that I had the opportunity to reconnect with some of my extended family before heading abroad.

You know how there is always that weird/annoying/snobby family member that nobody really likes, but everyone puts up with because, well, they're  still family? Yeah, I don't have any of those. My family is AWESOME. All of them. Both sides. For some reason, my immediate family has isolated itself from that awesomeness. Not cool, not cool at all. I got the chance to reconnect with some of these amazing people, and to realize how much they mean to me. Needless to say, I hope to be back in Iowa again before 2013 ends, and I have a few other places to visit, too. Thanks for bringing us back together, Dede.

I returned home from Iowa and that side of my family late Tuesday night, immediately unpacked my bags, repacked for warmer weather, slept for three hours, and returned to the airport (thank you Mom for being the airport shuttle). I had previously planned a trip down to South Carolina to visit my grandparents, before Dede passed, and was unable to change my airplane ticket for less than $500. A few extra hours of sleep is not worth $500...not that I even have $500. Anyways, the timing of this trip has worked out perfectly, and I am glad that I have the opportunity to visit with some more family before heading over the Big Blue. My time here has been relaxing, my grandparents are spoiling the crap out of me, and IT IS SO WARM! Hello 70 degree weather!! I am enjoying it as much as I can - it is currently 5AM in Prague and 20 degrees, but don't worry, it should get up to 27 degrees there today -____-

Anyways, I am thankful for this hectic time because it has brought me closer to my family and made me realize how much I value those people. Even though the circumstances of the lesson are hard, Dede's death has taught me that there is always time for family and important people in my life, and not to let anything else get in the way - make time for the important stuff. I am so much more comfortable knowing that while I am in Prague, I have a solid and extensive support network at home rooting for me (they were always there, I just had to realize that). I hope that my last week in the States will be slightly less busy than the past two, but that is probably just me in my delusional state again. I should probably get some sleep now.



P.S.  7 more days!

P.P.S. GO VISIT YOUR FAMILY!!